So now you know that I love to write. It should come as no surprise then that I also love to read. I mean reading and writing go hand in hand after all. In my reading prime (aka. The time before children and responsibilities) I could easily ready a couple books a week. I LOVE reading. I love books. I love words. I love love love.

But college pretty much ruined me for the non-fiction. There’s just something about being forced to read 1000 pages a week of blah, blah, blah that can kill a love of reading real fast. So when I no longer had to read, I chose to read lots of fluff. Mostly Christian historical fiction. Give me a little Traci Peterson or Mary Connealy and I’m happy for a few hours. But I just could not get into anything that didn’t have some sort of sinister plot or kidnapping of a innocent pioneer girl.

More recently, I’ve been able to dip my toes back into the waters of non-fiction. I’m currently knee-deep in Jane Creswell’s book Christ-Centered Coaching: 7 Benefits for Ministry Leaders. I know what you’re thinking… DRY!!!! But it’s so NOT!!!! Creswell is totally engaging. She’s a master coach who has coached in both the secular business and church leadership worlds. She knows her stuff.

Just a side note in case you aren’t familiar with the coaching concept.

…Coaching is not counseling, consulting, or mentoring… In consulting and mentoring, the expertise lies in the consultant or the mentor and is transferred to the person. In coaching, on the other hand, the expertise lies within you, the person being coached… Counseling is about resolving how the past informs the present, while coaching is only about the present and moving forward. Counseling assumes a lack of health, while coaching assumes health… Mentoring (fills) in some information from experience that you don’t have. (Pg 15-16)

I’m about halfway through the book and the first half looks like a highlighter threw up on it. It’s that good. The one thing that had been running laps in my head is the idea of personal strengths. Have you ever been in a situation like a job interview and someone has asked you what your strengths are? If you’re anything like me, naming my strengths is tough, like almost impossible. I mean I can change a mean poopy diaper but I’m not sure how that translates into real-world situations.

Creswell gives great insight into how to discover your strengths.

…Strengths come so naturally to you that instead of seeing them as strengths, you think that all human beings were born with them. You come to this conclusion because you hardly have to work at developing these strengths… You can also gain clues to your (strengths) through self-observation. Since you erroneously think all human beings were born with your strengths, you become frustrated with them if they don’t display the behaviors that fit with your (…) strengths. A good way to determine your strengths is to start noticing what irritates you about how others operate. (Pg 45)

Whoa dude.

Ever since I read this I’ve been racking my brain for everything that annoys me in others. I’m not talking about my kids not picking up their toys or how my neighbor doesn’t mow his lawn. I’m talking about the stuff that I consider to be “human decency” and it really bugs me when people don’t do it.

This is what I’ve come up with so far:

1. Compassion/sympathy. It absolutely drives me nuts how people can see suffering and not want to do anything about it. How can you not cry when someone is crying or not laugh when someone is laughing?
2. Empathy. Seriously. How can you not put yourself into someone else’s shoes for a moment and see the world from their perspective?
3. Teaching. People tell me all the time that they could never homeschool their kids and my answer is always If I can do it, anyone can. But that’s not true. There are definitely people in this world that should not homeschool their kids. There are people who should not lead a Bible study or teach from our pulpits.
4. Writing/word-smithing. Using words to express myself comes like second-nature to me, especially the written word. It bugs me to read a poorly written letter or hear terribly edited copy in a commercial or (heaven help me) a church announcement video, bulletin and bulletin inserts, or a live ministry announcement. (Learn to edit people! You think you’re being funny but you’re just condescending.)
5. An optimistic outlook on life. This one is huge. When I first met and married my husband, he was very pessimistic. Oh did that ever drive me nuts! Always assuming the worst, nothing is good, expect hardship and difficulty, etc. In time, he has gotten a whole lot better. I hope that I’ve worn off on him a little bit, but this still smacks me in the face every time I spend any amount of time with my husband’s family. They’re just pessimistic people. I know my optimism annoys them as much as their pessimism annoys me. Ha!

Creswell goes on to talk about how to use these natural strengths as a foundation to build upon once you’re able to identify them. We can learn how to do things so well that they will feel like legitimate strengths, but if we build upon those as our foundation, things will get shaky later on. Those learned strengths are what burn us out. We build a solid, unshakeable foundation when we build upon our natural strengths. They leave us feeling alive and fulfilled rather than drained and tired.

I think about this a lot these days. I think about what I’m going to do with this knowledge now that I’ve discovered it. I’m beginning to ask myself what small adjustments I can make in my current situations to help to strengthen these natural tendencies? How can I ensure that I’m building a strong foundation?

It’s good food for thought. I know not everyone believes that they can change or even wants to change. I hear all the time this is just who I am. It is who you are, but its not who you have to continue to be.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

So what comes so naturally for you that it annoys you when others don’t do it?
What are your strengths?