Author Archives: Melissa

Him.

Posted in Sentimental Sunday by

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I took this picture this morning during our worship service. Moments before I had one of the most vivid flashbacks of my life…

It was Sunday, June 4, 2000. It was my first Sunday back in my home church for the summer. I had come home to teach a bible study on Wednesday nights. It wasn’t an internship, but my beloved pastor had strongly encouraged me to embrace the summer home as an unofficial official internship. To that end, he told me that for the summer I would be joining him and the other pastors and interns on the platform for worship. He said that this would establish some credibility for me as I was now in a position of semi-leadership in my home church.

I did not want to sit up on the platform for all the church to watch me worship. But I quickly learned that a perk to sitting on the platform was that it gave me the best seat in the house to watch our new worship pastor. He was also an intern for the summer, although he was a pastoral intern and I was just a college intern. (I have no idea what the difference was.)

I remember I took extra care in getting ready that Sunday morning. I wore a long black sundress with a little black sweater and the sweetest black platform sandals. (Oh how I miss those sandals!) My hair was short, just to my chin and very blonde. I took the extra time to straighten it that morning and the whole time I was getting ready I had nervous butterflies in my stomach–like I knew something big was about to happen but had no idea what.

As I walked through the doors of Christian Assembly at 400 Grand Ave., I knew something was different. I saw him from the back of the sanctuary. (If I close my eyes now I can still see him. I could even show you the exact spot where he was standing. I could even even act out what he was doing the moment I saw him.)  He was wearing a black suit. He was talking with the musicians and pointing to the platform from where he stood in the orchestra pit. His movements and hand gestures were quick and purposeful.

Later that morning  I watched him lead worship for the first time. I remember he had mean guitar skills, and his voice was shaky-not in a nervous way, but in a raw, untrained kind of way.  He was young and the way he led worship was fresh and different.  As I watched him my deep, dark, subconscious heart screamed YES!!! I need this man in my life forever!!! My conscious mind would fight my subconscious mind for the next few weeks, but I caved to his charms pretty quickly.

On that early June morning, I watched him. I had no idea who he was. I didn’t know where he came from or even how he came to be at Christian Assembly that warm summer morning. I had no idea how much my life would become entwined with his. Watching him lead worship on Sunday mornings would become as normal to me as breathing.

And that was what I flashed back to moments before I took this picture.

Today I wore dress pants and a ruffly shirt. My hair is now long and brown. I straightened it but then bent a few loose waves into it. I wore the sweetest leopard print TOMS wedges and carried his baby on my hip.

He wore jeans and a sweater vest. He no longer wears a goatee. Instead, he just lets his beard grow until it tickles my nose. Then, he trims it just enough to make me happy. He still plays a mean guitar, but his voice is different now–no longer shaky. It’s strong and confident from years of singing.

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Our life together is the great joy on my existence. He teaches me and challenges me. He encourages me to go get my dreams. He also frustrates me to no end, and he has this amazing ability to make me so angry I can’t see straight.

But.

He makes me better. He makes me… ME. There is not a me without him.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~Ephesians 5:25-33

It is my great honor to be his wife. There is no greater man on this earth.

 

Lets wrap it up.

Posted in A wrap up. by

So this weekend was a good’un. Thursday kicked it off with pizza and a movie. i have no idea what we watched. It was that good. Friday is usually the day to finish any left over school. The Daddy teaches science too. This week we skipped the school work in favor of deep cleaning my house and The Music Man working. It only took me four hours to clean the house, but those four hours lasted all.day. due to the many interruptions that occur when one has three kids and a husband working from home. But it was so worth it!! I love having a picked up, tidy house, but I love it even more when it really is clean clean. Like the kind of clean house you do before getting out-of-town company. My man worked well into the evening and then we just watched a movie. Again it was so compelling that I can’t remember it now.

I do remember that at some point on Friday, the Apple TV decided it had had enough Pingu and Busytown and quit working. Well, we all know that is unacceptable for The Music Man, so he called up Apple support and told them to fix it. Apparently, when he updated it this last time, the update fried the device. I have no idea how, but then again I can’t wrap my brain around the Internet. I mean where exactly are all those emails I sent? Just floating out the somewhere?

I digress. As is always the solution, we had to take it to the actual apple store. So on Saturday, we packed up the kids and headed to the mall. When I saw the parking lot I made the executive decision to stay in the car with the kids. Besides, I really, really hate going in the apple store. It smells like computers and B.O. There are always at least ten employees for every one customer and they stalk you as you browse iPhone cases. (I know this from first-hand experience.) As if that isn’t bad enough, the dozens of hipster employees don’t actually know what they’re talking about. My husband has repeatedly gone to the “geniuses” only to go home and have to fix what they did. Between message boards and YouTube, you, too, can be smarter than an Apple genius.

But, again, I digress. The Music Man was in and out in record time with a new Apple TV. We had lunch at Cheeseburger in Paradise. They have the most delicious French fried potatoes, and I almost feel like I’m on vacation when we eat there. Almost, but not quite.

After we were fortified with cheeseburgers and French fired potatoes, we tackled the formidable errand that is grocery shopping with three children. It wasn’t that bad, however I left my list at home so I was winging it based on the coupons I had clipped on my phone and my general knowledge of what my family eats all the time. (Yay! SuperMom strikes again!) The total ended up being way more than I was expecting but I had to get out of that store. We sat in the car and went through every last item on that two foot long receipt and compared them to the coupons. I’m glad we did, because we had $35 in coupons that hadn’t been applied. Boom! Always, always check your receipts!! (And don’t let your 15 year old checker talk about the many stupid antics of Ochocinco to your husband. I guarantee he will make a mistake, but your husband will have already bonded with him and not feel compelled to shut’er down.)

Sundays are basically our Mondays since its a work day for my pastor-husband. Yesterday was no different except he had to be out of town for most of the afternoon and evening. We did have lunch with some of my most favorite people in the world-the McDowells. Their kids, have babysat our kids for years and are now both in college. Sarah (the youngest) was home for fall break. I adored hearing about her first weeks of her freshman year. College was one of the best times of my life and it still feels like it was just yesterday! I love to relive those days through anyone who will let me.

James (the oldest) was still at school so we sent him this picture to make him feel the depth of how much we were missing him.

20121015-124440.jpg At that right there is a blessed family.

Monday is blessing me with all sorts of fun surprises.
You woke up an hour late? Surprise!
You can’t find clean underwear? Surprise!
Your son is unable to function without crying? Surprise!
You left a load of laundry in the washer last week and now it’s smelly? Surprise!
You didn’t print out all the worksheets you need for your geography lesson? Surprise!

Yay! Don’t you just love surprises?!

And that was just this morning. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the day and week hold for me!

You just published your its prematurely without any editing? Surprise!

What annoys you only makes you stronger

Posted in books, Deep Thoughts by

So now you know that I love to write. It should come as no surprise then that I also love to read. I mean reading and writing go hand in hand after all. In my reading prime (aka. The time before children and responsibilities) I could easily ready a couple books a week. I LOVE reading. I love books. I love words. I love love love.

But college pretty much ruined me for the non-fiction. There’s just something about being forced to read 1000 pages a week of blah, blah, blah that can kill a love of reading real fast. So when I no longer had to read, I chose to read lots of fluff. Mostly Christian historical fiction. Give me a little Traci Peterson or Mary Connealy and I’m happy for a few hours. But I just could not get into anything that didn’t have some sort of sinister plot or kidnapping of a innocent pioneer girl.

More recently, I’ve been able to dip my toes back into the waters of non-fiction. I’m currently knee-deep in Jane Creswell’s book Christ-Centered Coaching: 7 Benefits for Ministry Leaders. I know what you’re thinking… DRY!!!! But it’s so NOT!!!! Creswell is totally engaging. She’s a master coach who has coached in both the secular business and church leadership worlds. She knows her stuff.

Just a side note in case you aren’t familiar with the coaching concept.

…Coaching is not counseling, consulting, or mentoring… In consulting and mentoring, the expertise lies in the consultant or the mentor and is transferred to the person. In coaching, on the other hand, the expertise lies within you, the person being coached… Counseling is about resolving how the past informs the present, while coaching is only about the present and moving forward. Counseling assumes a lack of health, while coaching assumes health… Mentoring (fills) in some information from experience that you don’t have. (Pg 15-16)

I’m about halfway through the book and the first half looks like a highlighter threw up on it. It’s that good. The one thing that had been running laps in my head is the idea of personal strengths. Have you ever been in a situation like a job interview and someone has asked you what your strengths are? If you’re anything like me, naming my strengths is tough, like almost impossible. I mean I can change a mean poopy diaper but I’m not sure how that translates into real-world situations.

Creswell gives great insight into how to discover your strengths.

…Strengths come so naturally to you that instead of seeing them as strengths, you think that all human beings were born with them. You come to this conclusion because you hardly have to work at developing these strengths… You can also gain clues to your (strengths) through self-observation. Since you erroneously think all human beings were born with your strengths, you become frustrated with them if they don’t display the behaviors that fit with your (…) strengths. A good way to determine your strengths is to start noticing what irritates you about how others operate. (Pg 45)

Whoa dude.

Ever since I read this I’ve been racking my brain for everything that annoys me in others. I’m not talking about my kids not picking up their toys or how my neighbor doesn’t mow his lawn. I’m talking about the stuff that I consider to be “human decency” and it really bugs me when people don’t do it.

This is what I’ve come up with so far:

1. Compassion/sympathy. It absolutely drives me nuts how people can see suffering and not want to do anything about it. How can you not cry when someone is crying or not laugh when someone is laughing?
2. Empathy. Seriously. How can you not put yourself into someone else’s shoes for a moment and see the world from their perspective?
3. Teaching. People tell me all the time that they could never homeschool their kids and my answer is always If I can do it, anyone can. But that’s not true. There are definitely people in this world that should not homeschool their kids. There are people who should not lead a Bible study or teach from our pulpits.
4. Writing/word-smithing. Using words to express myself comes like second-nature to me, especially the written word. It bugs me to read a poorly written letter or hear terribly edited copy in a commercial or (heaven help me) a church announcement video, bulletin and bulletin inserts, or a live ministry announcement. (Learn to edit people! You think you’re being funny but you’re just condescending.)
5. An optimistic outlook on life. This one is huge. When I first met and married my husband, he was very pessimistic. Oh did that ever drive me nuts! Always assuming the worst, nothing is good, expect hardship and difficulty, etc. In time, he has gotten a whole lot better. I hope that I’ve worn off on him a little bit, but this still smacks me in the face every time I spend any amount of time with my husband’s family. They’re just pessimistic people. I know my optimism annoys them as much as their pessimism annoys me. Ha!

Creswell goes on to talk about how to use these natural strengths as a foundation to build upon once you’re able to identify them. We can learn how to do things so well that they will feel like legitimate strengths, but if we build upon those as our foundation, things will get shaky later on. Those learned strengths are what burn us out. We build a solid, unshakeable foundation when we build upon our natural strengths. They leave us feeling alive and fulfilled rather than drained and tired.

I think about this a lot these days. I think about what I’m going to do with this knowledge now that I’ve discovered it. I’m beginning to ask myself what small adjustments I can make in my current situations to help to strengthen these natural tendencies? How can I ensure that I’m building a strong foundation?

It’s good food for thought. I know not everyone believes that they can change or even wants to change. I hear all the time this is just who I am. It is who you are, but its not who you have to continue to be.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

So what comes so naturally for you that it annoys you when others don’t do it?
What are your strengths?